I was forty-eight years old before I found my right partner. It happened only after I stopped focusing on finding someone and started concentrating completely on being someone worth finding.

Today I want to talk with you about how important it is that you be the person you want to attract.  By knowing yourself intimately, and you are honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses, then you will know what you are comfortable with in another person.

Take time to determine which values, such as honesty, loyalty, compassion, promptness, cooperation, patience (think of as many as you can) are currently among your character strengths, or, if absent, your weaknesses. After determining your values, strengths, and limitations, spend time determining your objectives in a relationship. What is important to you in terms of finances, monogamy, pets, having children and how to raise them, spirituality, savings, accumulation of things vs. memories, etc.  The goal is to find someone who shares your values.  He puts the toilet seat down because he is courteous.  She hangs up her clothes because she is neat.  You both share your thoughts and feelings with one another because you value the intimacy that comes from clear and honest communication.

Your relationships will not be successful if you try to mold someone into the person you want them to be. Look for someone who already embodies the values you hold dear.  Then you will be able to weather any relationship storm because respect and clear communication is the foundation upon which you have come together to create a better life than you would have on your own. Who’s out there for you depends on what’s already within you.