For many years I was afraid of being abandoned. I clung to friends and the people I dated so tightly I smothered them with my insecurity.  In the end, every one of the, “I must have you in my life” relationships ended.

At the time I did not realize the fear of being abandoned had nothing to do with other people and everything to do with me.  One day I realized other people are not responsible for never leaving me.  I am the only constant in my life.  So my fear of abandonment, while rooted in childhood, was really about how I was abandoning myself.

Each time I did not stay aligned with my principles and values and went along with the crowd, or when I allowed other people to abuse me, or when I was financially irresponsible, or when I went against what I knew in my heart was best for me, or I looked to someone else to make me happy, I was actually abandoning myself.  WOW! What a wake up call to realize giving my personal power away to create my best life was actually abandoning myself.

I have not feared being abandoned for many years.  I cannot make other people stay in my life and it is not comfortable to have people who are clingy and fearful of being abandoned in mine.  When I accepted I am the best friend and biggest supporter I’ll ever have, and that my happiness and peace is the result of doing my best to remain true to myself by behaving with impeccability, I released the fear of being abandoned.