There was a time I refused to take the actions I knew were best for me, and in the long run, for everyone concerned.  I refused because I thought myself a failure if I gave up. So I stayed in a relationship long after the lessons I needed to learn were over. I was stuck by the excuses that I could somehow make it work, or get the other person to change, or that I just could not break the commitment I made. I bought the fear and guilt based rationalizations until the day I realized I was suffering greatly and everyone around me was too. Not just because of the negative relationship but because we were not taking the actions we knew in our heart were best.

Too often we stay in negative situations for all the wrong reasons. If we know deep in our heart it is, and has been, time to go then we need to seriously and honestly look at the excuses, fear, and guilt we are allowing to stop us from doing what needs to be done.  We also must remember that our actions serve as examples for others.  Do we honestly want the people we say we love to continue to endure what we are enduring? Do we want them to put aside self-love and respect because they do not have the courage to love themselves more by removing themselves from a continuously negative situation? Do we really want to show them how little we respect ourselves by choosing to remain in our suffering rather than choosing to free ourselves?

Often we think we are wrong for leaving or giving up. We need to remember that when a relationship has run its course, we know it beyond doubt in our heart.  So what makes us wrong is not leaving but continuing to subject ourselves to the negative, to the suffering.

Love is courageously doing what we must to care for ourselves and for others.  Yes, moving on hurts. But the pain is bearable by knowing that doing what needs to be done to end to our suffering will, in the end, be best for everyone involved. Even if the other people involved do not change. We have changed ourselves by bringing a higher level of awareness by refusing to continue making negative contributions to a relationship while calling it love.