I spent much time alone as a child and young adult. But being alone was safer and felt better than being bullied.

One of countless instances I remember was when I was in fourth grade. A girl I did not even know slammed me up against the wall in the girl’s bathroom. I was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Later I learned she was being physically abused by her father.  She did not know how to release her pain and powerlessness other than do to others what was being done to her.

While it is said the greatest legacy we leave is children I believe there is a big difference in having a child and being a parent. The most important job we’ll ever have is taking the time and having the patience and love necessary to be the strict gatekeeper of what goes into children. No, we cannot control everything to which children are exposed. But we can do our best to remember that it is our behavior that our children watch.

To do our very best to most positively influence children we must stop passing the buck and own complete responsibility for the truth that it is our actions that teach. Whether that is discrimination, kindness, bullying, support, gossip, discretion, abuse, caring, dishonesty, loyalty, cruelty, or compassion they learn from us and from what we allow them to be exposed to. We must show children appropriate ways of dealing with anger, how to peacefully stand up for themselves and others, and how to be accepting of difference. To be able to show children we must first deal with our stuff so we do not pass it on to them.  That is what love does.