A big misconception we have about relationships is that we have the power to change someone else. If we’re more understanding, patient, loving, open, scream louder, say it in a different way, etc., then he or she will wake up and behave better.  If it were that easy you could wave a magic wand and the world would transform overnight. The truth is, each of us must admit there are things about our behavior that need changing. Then we need to take the actions necessary to create positive change.

You and I “wake up” through the process of our own inner deliberation. We question our thoughts, words and actions to honestly discover what WE, not someone else, are doing that is causing us to treat ourselves and others badly. This same process of self-evaluation is necessary for all of us to identify hurtful behavior, become emotionally responsible for our actions, and make positive changes to ourselves.

This week when you run into people who are rude, or want to start a fight, or who argue, blame and bully, take a deep breath and slowly count to five.  Give yourself time to stop your ego from impulsively wanting to box. Take five seconds to find your heart-center. Let the positive behaviors of love move you past ego.  Have compassion for those who have not yet found the courage and self-love to look honestly at their behavior.

Refuse to fight fire with fire. Bring a higher spiritual awareness to the situation by staying positive and you will walk away peaceful. And, while you behave positive for you, your kindness and peace may get others to look at their own behavior.  That is the power love has to bring a different level of awareness to the situation than what created it.  BE LOVE.