I used to ego-box with people. I went through life with a chip on my shoulder. My wounded sense of self (ego) could not hear reason, or determine what was best for me, or watch my actions to ensure I behaved in appropriate and responsible ways. My wounded ego was only interested in remaining the same, in blame, in projection, in defending its right to see what it wanted to see, to hear what it wanted to hear, and to invent countless reasons why I could not be completely free of its controlling and manipulative grasp.

To heal I had to take full responsibility for how my wounded ego was keeping control over me.  I had to be responsible for how my wounded ego inappropriately took my pain out on others. I had to intentionally wake up, grow up and stop acting like a victim of something beyond my control. I had to take control of my wounded sense of self by learning how to lead with my wise, peaceful and responsible heart/soul.

One of our great “‘aha” life-lessons is that the changes we long for from other people are actually the changes we need to make in ourselves. Self-assessment of our behavior is vital to creating the life we want. No, ego does not want to look at itself. Ego wants us to stay focused on the laundry list of what everyone else needs to do. It is our honest and responsible heart that wants us to courageously face our fears, identify negative thought patterns, look for limiting beliefs, and discover the ways we project unhealed stuff onto others.

This week, as we enter the new year, make a list of everything that is right with you. Then make an honest list of what you do not feel is right with you. Love yourself by allowing your heart/soul to reveal what about your behavior and thoughts are preventing you from having the best life. You don’t need to be afraid or upset if you do not like what you see. It is by identifying what needs to be changed that you put yourself on the right road to self-empowerment. Being courageously honest with yourself about yourself is the way to heal and grow so you have the best life.